This morning was the second weigh in for the biggest loser game in my office. I did not do so well last week and I was really feeling some aprehension about today. Why is it that I can get so worked up about the number? It has been ruling my mind and my life for far too long. Even now that I have lost so much weight that number still defines me.
I try hard to not let the number make such an impact on my success and my failure but I struggle with it every time. I did good this week. I stayed on my food plan. I worked out every day, most days before and after work. I drank plenty of water but still I was so worried about the number. I went to the gym this morning at 5am. I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and then went downstairs and sat in the sauna for half an hour. It was great! I took that 30 minutes out of my workout for one day to re-set. I love my re-set buttons. It was there, alone, in the sauna with my music playing in my ear buds that I was able to subdue my evil thoughts about the number and focus on my goals for the rest of the week. An opportunity to gather my thoughts and pick out my big girl panties.
It is mid week and I am focused and moving forward. I still did not eat breakfast or drink my water before my weigh in but did take it with me so that I could stay on plan. It is a competition after all so I have to pay some attention to the number I just can't let it take over. You see I have given it an identity of it's own. Now, I am chipping away at that and taking it back. Steve, the wonderful man that is "weight taker" at work tells me every week that it's all relative. He makes me very comfortable at that most uncomfortable of times. It is relative, it's the work I have done this week, it's staying on my food plan and celebrating my little successes all week. the number is fading into the background. Deep breath, look, down 6.3 pounds. I'll take that.
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