Almost to the finish line

I weighed in yesterday and realized that I am only about 25 pounds away from my original goal!  I have lost 118 pounds so far!  The realization hit me hard because I still feel fat!  I look in the mirror every day and sometimes I don't really recognize the face staring back at me and other times, I think there is no way I have lost that much cuz I still feel fat.   I struggle with it every day.  I am sure now that I will struggle with this self image every day for the rest of my life.  I realized that it probably won't matter how much weight I lose, I will still have insecurities.  So, I have made a decision.

I know that I am a good person, I know that I have a good heart and it is just as much what is on the inside of me as it is what is on the outside of me.  I went through all my old pictures and chose one that really shows just how big I used to be.  This picture was taken the day that we adopted our son.  It was taken in court and it is really painful to look at.  That moment was a moment of celebration during a time in my life when everything was falling apart!  It was a beautiful moment that we worked toward for 3 years as foster parents with Hayden, hoping and praying that GOD would not take him from us.  It was very stressful and it was the time that I was the heaviest I have ever been, you can see it!

I am making myself look in the mirror now and focus on happiness and celebrations!  I am celebrating every moment no matter how big or how small, I am saying Ta-da!  I have lost 118 pounds!  Ta-da! I quit smoking! Ta-da!  I smiled today!  I am stronger and healthier and most of all HAPPIER than I have ever been in my entire adult life and I am going to celebrate it from the beginning to the end!  I am the same size today as Marilyn Monroe.  She was one of the most beautiful women in the world, I have always loved my curves and never really wanted to lose them completely, I forgot about that until now.  I am celebrating my curves, I am celebrating my happiness and my strength!  Celebrate yours!  Ta-da!